We are the Jenkins

In our family we try to encourage our kids to know what kind of people they want to be. We talk to them about different virtues and traits they want to possess in their life and then try to give them examples of how they can be those kind of people.

Our little family gets together every Monday night (or at least once a week, sometimes not on Monday if Noah is working) and we teach a lesson to our children about a wide array of things, always centered around Christian based topics. We call this Family Home Evening (FHE). We are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day saints (sometimes people refer to us as lds or mormons) and so usually our topics are about something that is centered around our Religion. This past year we have been working on different virtues as part of our FHE, we have talked about being kind, loving, trust worthy, hard working, and different things like that.

This past weekend I went to a Mothering retreat that was put on by a wonderful group called Power of Moms (go here to see the website). I got SOOOOO many great ideas, and so much information on how to be a great mom and hopefully I can share a lot of what I learned and thoughts that I had, on here. One of the things that I heard that really stood out to me was about an idea called a Family Culture. The idea of a Family Culture is to create fun/meaningful traditions in our families. Something they said was, "The feeling in the home is what really matters." There are so many cultures out there like the internet, worldly, and social cultures that want to pull our kids in all different directions, so its important that we have given then a great Family Culture so that they have strong roots. They talked about how children want to feel a part of something, that's often why kids gravitate into not so great social cultural groups. Its our jobs as parents to give them a place where they do belong, where they can say, "WOW!!! This is my family! I am so lucky that I get to be a part of it." I was pretty excited that we already do so many things that are part of a Family Culture but I also realized I could do so much more. I have a lot more I want to say about the idea of Family Culture's, so stay tuned.

(I got to meet one of my mothering heroes at the retreat, Linda Eyre. I heard her speak at a Time out for Women years ago and just fell in love with her and went out and bought a bunch of her books and now my night stand is covered in the Eyres books. I was little bit star stuck and I totally cried when I got to talk to her. This was seriously one of my top life moments.)

One mom stood up during the conference and said that her family has a Family Creed. They set up a few traits that they want to become, in their family and every night at dinner they go around the table and talk about how they were one of those particular traits that day. I absolutely LOVED that idea and that night Noah and I talked about this idea and how we wanted to cater it to our family. We decided that we would sit down with the kids and come up with a list of things that they thought we should be. So Sunday night during our "meeting of the minds" session, (something I learned from Linda and Richard Eyre years ago, that has made a huge impact for good in my marriage and life as a mom! Ill do a post about that soon too) at dinner we asked the kids who they thought that the Jenkins should be. They gave us lots of GREAT ideas, I was very impressed and realized that they really do listen to me when I am talking to them about the kind of people they should be. I was actually getting a bit teary eyed when I was writing down their answers because they were pretty perfect.

This is their list (totally made by them with zero help from Noah and me.)

-Courageous
-Strong
-Thankful
-Honest
-Polite
-Respectful
-Listen to others
-Go to church
-Caring
-Thoughtful
-Don't listen to mean people
-Brave
-Missionary
-Parents
-Help other people
-Don't do bad things
-Don't say mean words

After they came up with their list we helped guide them into combining up some of these things and narrowing down our list to 5 things, that way it was easy to remember. We decided that all of our list could fit into these 5 groups

The Jenkins are....
1. Courageous
2. Respectful
3. Serve others
4. Honest
5. Righteous

So every night at dinner we are now going to talk about how we were a Jenkins that day. We hope that this will help the kids understand the kind of people they want to be and that it will help learn to see how there are opportunities around them everyday for them to be virtuous people.

I am typing this list up so that we can all see it on a regular basis. We also decided that we wanted to point out to the kids at different times during the day when we "Caught them" being a Jenkins, so that they could start to see how often they were being great kids. I think its important to not only teach our kids virtues and noble characteristics but to also show them how we have chances to really be those kinds of people every day. Landon hit a golf ball into our neighbors yard and without me even reminding him to knock on their door instead of jumping the fence, he went to their front door and knock and asked if he could get his ball back. I told him how proud I was of him for being so Respectful and Courageous. I told him that he showed respect to the neighbors by knocking on their door and showed courage by going up to their door and knocking in the first place. He got a big smile on his face and said, "I know mom! That's because I am a Jenkins and Jenkins are Respectful and Courageous." It made my heart swell so big for my sweet boy. It made me really proud at that moment to be a Jenkins and to be his mom, and I could tell that he was proud to be a Jenkins too.

There are opportunities in our life every day to make the right choice, to choose to be a certain kind of person, and I want to make sure that my children go out into the world knowing how to be men and women of virtue. I want them to learn at a young age how important it is to be God Fearing people who always choose the right. I have talked to them for years about Choosing the Right, but I think really our job as parents is to do more then just tell them to Choose the Right, but to teach them daily about HOW to choose the right and to point out opportunities that they have on a daily basis where they have to make the decision to choose the better path. I also think its important for them to see how those experiences can help shape them and help them to see the opportunities even when we are not there to point them out. I am excited about this new little piece of Family Culture that we have decided to implement in our family.

 (the kids wanted to play in the sprinkler so I told them to go get their swim suits on and I asked them to help Aowyn. The boys came back down all ready to go but Aowyn was not with them. I asked them if they helped her and they said no. I went in to check on her and she was headed outside in just some shorts {that she was not in before}, It was the most adorable thing. Apparently she thought girls wore the same type of swimming gear as boys. After I was done laughing I took her upstairs and showed her what girls wear.)

Treasures on earth

Ive been thinking a lot about my life in general. Ive been thinking about what I think the most important things in my life are and about who I really want to be. How do I measure my own success in life and how does that lead me to act on a daily basis? (thats for another post all together.) Something that really has been a no brainer to me is that my Family, my husband and my children are really the most important things in my life. They are my treasures.

 President Hinckley said: 

"God bless you, dear friends. Do not trade your birthright as a mother for some bauble of passing value. Let your first interest be in your home. The baby you hold in your arms will grow quickly as the sunrise and the sunset of the rushing days. I hope that when that occurs you will not be led to exclaim as did King Lear, “How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is to have a thankless child!” (King Lear, I, iv, 312). Rather, I hope that you will have every reason to be proud concerning your children, to have love for them, to have faith in them, to see them grow in righteousness and virtue before the Lord, to see them become useful and productive members of society. If with all you have done there is an occasional failure, you can still say, “At least I did the very best of which I was capable. I tried as hard as I knew how. I let nothing stand in the way of my role as a mother.” Failures will be few under such circumstances." 

My children are my most priceless treasure. No amount of wealth or gold or success in my life will ever compare to how much my success as their mother means to me. The love that they have for me is endless, the only person that can change that, is me. I never want to lose their love, I always want to be worthy of it, to deserve every single bit of love they have for me. Children forgive so easily and love so unconditionally, I hope that I always deserve their forgiveness and their unconditional love.

Matthew 6:19, 20 says  19 ¶Lay not up for yourselves ^atreasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves ^bbreak through and steal:

 20 But lay up for yourselves ^atreasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor ^bsteal:

These are my treasures that neither moth nor rust can corrupt. The world will try its hardest to corrupt them, but If I take care of them and treat them with love and kindness, if I nurture them and protect them and do everything to treasure them then I will have them as my children forever. 

It pains me too look at the world and to see so many moms treasuring those things of worldly value, I want to hold them and plead with them to look at their precious children, who are right in front of them, those precious children who are their life and greatest reward. I wish they could see that their greastest success lies with their children. I ache to see them missing out on so much happiness simply because they can not see the great gift that has been given to them. The world tells us to look to it for validation, gratification and happiness. The Lord knows better then this and tells us to look to our children, to look into our homes and at our most sacred relationships. This is where the treasures lie, this is where the true validation, gratification and happiness can be found.

I am so honored to be called a mother, to have 4 beautiful little spirits looking to me to hold their hand and guide them through life.

Lead me 

Guide me

Walk beside me

Help me find the way

Teach me all that I must know, to live with him (Heavenly Father) someday

Such a beautiful and simple message. In that short little chorus to one of my childhood hymns is laid all the knowledge and power that the world has to offer.  Lead our children by our example, Guide our children by helping them navigate their way on the path of righteousness through a world of sin, and Walk beside them, holding their hand and taking each step along the way with them. It is our sacred and noble jobs as mothers to show them the way back to their Heavenly home. These little fresh from God spirits, are our jewels that God has given us in this life. And like any jewel we must keep is close to us, treasure its great value and protect it. 

Family pictures from 2012

These pictures were taken by my WONDERFULLY talented friend Mary Anne.

Micah's wedding

In July 2011 we had the opportunity to go and see one of my best friends, who also happens to be my little brother, get married. 

Micah and Melanie got married in Clackamas, Oregon, on July 24th.

Since we lived in Vegas and did not have a lot of money we decided to drive, instead of fly, while I was almost 6 months pregnant with Aowyn, the 22 hours to Oregon.

Noah was Micahs best man and so the boys and I spent a lot of time in the hotel while daddy went and did Best Man things (like golf and tux fittings). I would like to say I was sweet and kind and gracious, but really I was going out of my mind being big and pregnant and stuck in a hotel for days on end with 3 little boys. 

We did get to get out of the hotel and go to the rehearsal dinner.
We had pizza and for the first time I got to eat California Pizza Kitchen gluten free pizza, (before they stopped doing gluten free) which was so very delicious. My whole family loves pizza (more then me) my husband and big two boys could eat pizza every meal of everyday.

Trying to keep these boys still and not have them run all over during the rehearsal was lots of fun. I think Braddoc ran into the middle of the "ceremony" at least 3 times, it of course did not help that Daddy was part of the ceremony so he wanted to go see daddy.

I did one day convince Noah that I was losing my mind and needed the van so he left it with me and I took off on an adventure with my mom to take the boys to see the Portland, OR temple. This was of course after I shed a lot of pregnant hormonal tears about how miserable I was stuck in the hotel and about how the boys had lots of pent up energy so I was afraid I would lose them if I took them any where. I was also tired and sore and my sciatic nerve was killing me so I was a bit  dramatic (I know, hard to believe right!?)
I finally got up the energy to go and talked my mom into going with us while the guys were running wedding errands.

When we get there we realized the temple was under construction so we did not get to go on the grounds but we did get to see a lot from the side walk.

The wedding was outside at a big beautiful park.

Its was such a gorgeous and hot day. It was so hot I thought I was going to sweat to death. I can't imagine how bad it was for all the guys in big 4 piece tuxs and Melanie in her wedding dress, or maybe I just thought it was so hot because I had my own little built in heater.
Thankfully the dinner was under a pavilion so it wasn't so bad the whole time.
Everyone kept asking if I was finally getting my girl, which I was very happy to report that I was finally pregnant with a girl. 

My sweetheart.

My parents.

My cutie pie brother.

My sweetheart leading in Melanies mom, Renee.

Three of my favorite guys... Micah, My dad, and Noah. (my baby brother Jared was on his mission in Japan for our church and missed the wedding.)

My sister in law, Melanie.

Seriously so happy for these two!!!

GAH!! My baby brother is married!

The wedding party.

Looking at these pictures makes me realize how glad I am that we finally upgraded our camera to a better quality one. I wanted one for so long so after I saw these pictures I told Noah that before we had our baby girl I needed a new camera.

Me, Dad, Melanie, Micah, Mom, Dana (my sister)

Braddoc, Tayton, Noah, Landon, Me, Dana, Melanie, Micah, Mom and Dad

Sibling love, minus Jared, we should photo shop him in.

Now one with Granny, my mom's mom, her Great Grand kids all her Sondra Mama.
I adore her, and have such great memories with her. I wish we lived closer so that my kids could develop great memories with her too. When Noah and I were first married we had dinner at her house twice a week (She is my cooking inspiration) and we would always watch American Idol together. She was the one who was with my when I dropped Noah off for him to go to Basic Training and too keep me from bawling my eyes out (too much) she just kept talking to me about how proud of him she was. I ache to be closer to her, to have my kids develop the love for her that I have.

Look at those Hansome guys

I think its funny how Noah looks like he is the same height as them, great photography skills. Noahs pretty significantly taller then them both.

The cake topper was leaning to the side because it was so hot outside.

So cool!!!

I love this brother of mine so much. He is one of my very best friends.
He is definetly a comedian, Melanie is very lucky to have him.

Leaning with cake topper.

Ignore the garbage cans, and just look at the beautiful view.

He busted up his nose falling off the playground equipment. It about gave me a heart attack because it was a big fall, on his neck which twisted under his body backwards and busted up his face in the process. Thankfully the road rash under his nose was the only obvious damage. We were driving a long way back that night and I was so worried that he might have a concussion, especially since he fell asleep almost immediately. 

Someone enjoyed his chocolate just a little too much.

So pretty. I am so glad we got to go to his wedding and be a part of such a special day. 

He now has a baby... who I have yet to see and its killing me!!! Kaysen is such a doll. I stole his pictures from Melanies facebook page.

I want to hold him so badly. He is my first nephew (or niece for that matter). I am finally an Aunt and haven't got to kiss these cute baby cheeks yet, or squeeze his adorable baby rolls, its criminal really. I love this little guy so much.

He looks just like my brother Micah. I miss them so much that sometimes it consumes me and I can't help but cry. Sometimes, some parts of being an adult stink, like having to live in separate states then your siblings. Hopefully one day we will live close again. My kids need to hang out and babysit their cousins.