Treasures on earth

Ive been thinking a lot about my life in general. Ive been thinking about what I think the most important things in my life are and about who I really want to be. How do I measure my own success in life and how does that lead me to act on a daily basis? (thats for another post all together.) Something that really has been a no brainer to me is that my Family, my husband and my children are really the most important things in my life. They are my treasures.

 President Hinckley said: 

"God bless you, dear friends. Do not trade your birthright as a mother for some bauble of passing value. Let your first interest be in your home. The baby you hold in your arms will grow quickly as the sunrise and the sunset of the rushing days. I hope that when that occurs you will not be led to exclaim as did King Lear, “How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is to have a thankless child!” (King Lear, I, iv, 312). Rather, I hope that you will have every reason to be proud concerning your children, to have love for them, to have faith in them, to see them grow in righteousness and virtue before the Lord, to see them become useful and productive members of society. If with all you have done there is an occasional failure, you can still say, “At least I did the very best of which I was capable. I tried as hard as I knew how. I let nothing stand in the way of my role as a mother.” Failures will be few under such circumstances." 

My children are my most priceless treasure. No amount of wealth or gold or success in my life will ever compare to how much my success as their mother means to me. The love that they have for me is endless, the only person that can change that, is me. I never want to lose their love, I always want to be worthy of it, to deserve every single bit of love they have for me. Children forgive so easily and love so unconditionally, I hope that I always deserve their forgiveness and their unconditional love.

Matthew 6:19, 20 says  19 ¶Lay not up for yourselves ^atreasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves ^bbreak through and steal:

 20 But lay up for yourselves ^atreasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor ^bsteal:

These are my treasures that neither moth nor rust can corrupt. The world will try its hardest to corrupt them, but If I take care of them and treat them with love and kindness, if I nurture them and protect them and do everything to treasure them then I will have them as my children forever. 

It pains me too look at the world and to see so many moms treasuring those things of worldly value, I want to hold them and plead with them to look at their precious children, who are right in front of them, those precious children who are their life and greatest reward. I wish they could see that their greastest success lies with their children. I ache to see them missing out on so much happiness simply because they can not see the great gift that has been given to them. The world tells us to look to it for validation, gratification and happiness. The Lord knows better then this and tells us to look to our children, to look into our homes and at our most sacred relationships. This is where the treasures lie, this is where the true validation, gratification and happiness can be found.

I am so honored to be called a mother, to have 4 beautiful little spirits looking to me to hold their hand and guide them through life.

Lead me 

Guide me

Walk beside me

Help me find the way

Teach me all that I must know, to live with him (Heavenly Father) someday

Such a beautiful and simple message. In that short little chorus to one of my childhood hymns is laid all the knowledge and power that the world has to offer.  Lead our children by our example, Guide our children by helping them navigate their way on the path of righteousness through a world of sin, and Walk beside them, holding their hand and taking each step along the way with them. It is our sacred and noble jobs as mothers to show them the way back to their Heavenly home. These little fresh from God spirits, are our jewels that God has given us in this life. And like any jewel we must keep is close to us, treasure its great value and protect it. 

Family pictures from 2012

These pictures were taken by my WONDERFULLY talented friend Mary Anne.

22 things every child should hear

       In this day and age the values that were once so prevalent in society are quickly fading away. 

I think its important that we teach our kids to be loving, caring, strong, courageous and full of self worth. The world around them teaches them things very contradictory to these values so its up to us as parents (which it should always be) to teach them theses things. 

Our kids listen to what we say.  I think that the things we say to them will be some of the most beneficial things we can do to teach them these values and to give them self worth.

Our actions of course speak louder then our words. So we need to remember that even if we say the right things to our children that these things will not matter to them if we don't provide the actions to back them up.

Here is a list of 22 things that we should say to our children (young and old) on a regular basis.

   1. I love you. Nothing that you ever can do will change that. I love you for you, no matter what. No child can ever hear this enough. Its like the calm, reassuring words in a dark and stormy world. Its creates a safe haven for them. When they hear these words said with real feeling behind them then they know that they can be themselves.

2. You are amazing. I marvel at all you do. Each day I am more amazed by all that you do and who you are becoming. This tells them that you see all of them. It tells them that you notice them and see how hard they work every day.

3.  Its okay to cry. People cry all the time for lots of reasons. It’s a good way to get our emotions out and to help us feel better and move on. Mommy’s and daddy’s cry too. I sure know I do.

4. Im sorry. I made a mistake. Please forgive me. Everyone makes mistakes and that’s okay, we are all still learning every day. And I will try harder to not make the same mistake again. When our kids see us own up to our mistakes then it will teach them that even when we make mistakes it doesn't make us a bad person. If we show them good examples and occasionally make mistakes and apologize for them, then they will know that its important to try hard, but that some times we fall a little bit, and that's okay.

5.  That was so nice. You did something really amazing. It’s wonderful to let our kids know that we see them doing nice things for each other. It helps them recognize that what they just did was something good and positive. It also tells them that we think they are a good person. It shows them that they have good hearts.

6.  Stand up for who you are and what you believe in. Sometimes standing up for what we believe in is not easy. Sometimes it will be the hardest thing we did that day. But it’s important that we do it, because it shows people our true character and it helps us strengthen our values and beliefs. In a world that is constantly changing and trying to create a grey area its important that we teach our kids right from wrong and help them to stand up for whats right.

7.  You made a mistake, and that’s okay. We all make mistakes, and its important to acknowledge the mistakes they made and help them to recognize it. Walk them through what a better choice may have been, so that when the situation presents itself again they will know how to handle it better. Let them know that the mistake they made does not make them who they are. Teach them that we learn and grow from our mistakes.

8.  What a great idea! You are full of good ideas. Listen to what they have to say. Show them that you care about the things they think about. If its possible then try their idea and show them that you value their opinion and that what they have to say to you matters. This will help them have more confidence and a good self worth.

9.  You can change your mind. You don’t have to go with your first choice. Kids make rash decisions in the heat of the moment on many occasions and just like we do as adults they need to be given a “get out of jail free card.” Let them know that it’s okay if they decided they want something different. If they have made a chose and it was a bad decision this gives them a chance to be able to correct the mistake. If you give them a safe environment where they are able to make kid friendly decisions and then when they, on occasion, make the wrong choice they will be able to learn from that and make the right choice.

10.   I have a secret to tell you. This will make them feel special and let them know that you want to share something fun or important with just them.

11.  I have a surprise for you. It does not have to be anything big. It could just be a piece of candy right before dinner, but something so small to us can be so magical to a child. This will show them that you love them and want to do nice things for them.

12.   I am pleased with how great of a kid you are. This is so important because the beginnings of their feelings of self worth start in the home, with you as the parent. If they know that you are pleased with them then they are given the courage to go out and share who they are with the world. It shows them that you notice them and how hard they are working to be a little better everyday. Telling them this gives them validation that what they are doing is good and right.

13.   Take as much time as you need, I can wait. In our ever moving, fast paced world children often times feel rushed and overwhelmed. Sometimes it’s important to just slow down and let them know that it’s okay for them to take the time to take all the things around them in, or to learn something new. Kids need to be given an open invitation to learn and to grow and when they know that they can do it at their pace then they are more likely to actually remember the things around them.

14.  I am all yours. Our kids are always having to share us with everything around them, work, siblings, school, cleaning, technology, chores, errands, etc. It is important that we let them know that they come first and that they know there will always be time for just them.

15.  Tell me about it. Tell me what happened. Kids love to talk, and they love to have someone listen. Even if they are coming to tell you a story that did not really happen, it’s important that we listen and show interest in what they are saying. This makes them feel like they have value and shows them that they are respected. This will help them become amazing friends one day because they will learn the value of an open conversation.

 16.  I am right here. I am always here. Children need to feel safe. As parents we are there rock and foundation. We bring them comfort in a confusing world. They need to know that we are always there for them. No matter what we are doing, they always come first and we will be there for them. Even if we are not going to be with them, we will still be thinking about them and we are just a phone call away.

  17.  Please and thank you. It is important that our children hear us use these words. They learn their manners from us, in our homes. If we do not say these words then they will not learn to say them.

18.   I missed you so much today. My son lights up when I tell him this. It lets him know that even when he is not with me that I am still thinking about him. This lets our kids know how much they mean to us and that they are our world. When we tell them that we miss them, we are telling them that life is just not the same when they are not around and that they bring happiness to our lives when they are around us.

19.  What do you wish for? Who do you want to be?  When we ask our kids to tell us about their dreams we are helping those dreams become more real for them. We are the foundation that they will build those dreams upon. When they know that we care about those dreams then they will have the strength and desire to pursue them. You can also learn a lot about your kids this way.

 20.  I am here. What do you need? When our children ask for help we should be there to provided it, even if it’s just to offer words of encouragement. When our kids know that we are part of their team then they are given the confidence to try new things and to branch out and learn more. When they know that they always have our support they will grow into confident adults.

 21. When you set your mind to it, you are capable of great things. Every kid needs to have their own personal cheerleader. They each need someone that they know will help them achieve their dreams. They need to know that dreams are possible to achieve. This tells them that if they work hard then great things can happen. 

22. I am so blessed to have you. I am so glad you are mine. Our kids need to know that we value them and that we are not the same with out them. They need to know that they are not just our children but that they are our greatest blessings. We need to tell them regularly that we are grateful to have them as part of our family. 

Here is the link to the article that inspired me to write this post.

Remember these things. 

Ponder on these things.

Our kids need us showing them and telling them everyday how wonderful and amazing they are. They need our strength and our encouragement. Just like they come to love the things we love they will also come to be the people we are. 

We need to make sure that we are the people we want our kids to be, because after are we are the biggest examples they have.

Most of these pictures were taken by the wonderful Andrea Gray at Andrea Gray Photography if you are in the Las Vegas Area you should look her up, she is AMAZING!!!!

A penny saved is a penny earned....

So we are trying to teach our oldest (almost 6), Landon, about earning money, saving money and owning your work. This process started when I asked him to go clean his room one day and he threw a MASSIVE fit in which he told me he wasn't the garbage man, that I was. He said it wasn't his job to clean his room and clean our house, that is was mine and his dads and that he was just a kid and kids dont have to clean. I am not sure where he got any of this from, because he has ALWAYS had to help us clean, from the time he was big enough to walk he had to pick up his messes. I think it was just one of those heat of the moment things filled with passion from some unknown place, but in any event it took me by surprise and I sat down with Noah (handsome hubby) and worked out a plan to teach Landon differently, to show him how to clean and to take ownership of things. I have to admit at times its like pulling teeth, at times I want to abandon the whole process all togther, but I guess as the saying goes, Anything worth doing is worth doing right. He is the kid who throws fits all the time about, what feels like, everything. He is also a very sweet loving, helpful at times kid, it just feels like the tantrums and fit throwing out weigh everything else. Trying to get him to earn money is like pulling teeth, I mean who would have thought? A kid not wanting to earn money to buy toys? Crazy!!

He earns $5 (his age) every week for cleaning his room. At first I wanted his room to stay clean all week in order for him to get his money, but I wanted him to have ownership of something in the house and his room is of course the perfect place for that, so his room only has to be clean by Family Night on Monday night if he wants to earn the money, no consequences are given (except that he doesnt earn his money) if Family Night rolls around and his room is not clean. Now I am a CLEAN FREAK about messes, so walking into his messy room drives me insane and I have to fight every instinct I have to not stop and pick it up for him (I mean after all what does that teach him?). He has learned (hallelujah) since this earning money journey has begun, that it is much easier to keep his room clean and to pick up after himself on a daily basis then it is to rush and clean a room full of mess 10 minutes before family night begins. My least favorite part of this though has been the ownership part, I cringe and want to sit down and have a 5 hour talk with him about it (hahaha, can you imagine how well that would go over?), when Family Night rolls around and he decides that he just doesn't want to earn money this week, because the daunting task of cleaning his room doesn't seem worth the $5. Oh child how I wish you could understand that when we go to the store and you want to buy every toy that you see, that you have to actually clean and EARN your money for it, in order for you to be able to buy it. We have found that letting him go browse through the store looking at toys and picking out a toy and seeing the price has helped him to want to work a bit harder to earn money, it gives him a tangable goal, instead of just hearing mom and dad droning on and on about saving your money for the ten billionth time.

Each week we have certain chores that he can do for extra money. Cleaning up trash in the yard, vacuuming (the stairs or other BIG jobs, he has to help vacuum the rest of the house just because) , cleaning the playroom (usually a mess caused by his younger siblings), cleaning the kitchen (not including cleaning up after dinner, which is just part of being a family), all earn him extra money. Its usually only $.50 per chore (depending on how messy it is) and sometimes, when he has a certain toy in mind, he will ask to do chores and will do multiple ones a day.  Now he has to help with the house hold chores, like cleaning the family room, doing the laundry, cleaning off the table and picking up his messes, and for these things he doesnt earn money because, in our house, this is just part of being a family. I keep a daily tally and pay him out at the end of the week (or rather on Monday night at Family Night). He needs to see his tally, so I put it on the family calendar and he asks me (sometimes multiple times a day) how much he has earned, which is totally fine because, well who doesnt want to see where their hard work has gone, and for my almost 6 year old this is in terms of money.

I would like to say this plan has eliminated ALL of the tantrums at the store when he wants to buy and toy, but I would be lieing. It has stopped the "but every parent buys their kids toys, but you!" fit because its his own fault that he doesnt have the money to buy said toy (because we, as the parents, give me all the chances to earn the money to buy the toy), the fit has now just turned into "I need money! why does this have to cost so much." And I have to say I much prefere these fits because he is taking ownership of the fact that he needs to earn the money and is realizing how much things cost, now I wish I could just make him be the kid who saves, instead money burns a hole in his pocket.

We also give our almost 4 year old the chance to earn money, but most of the time he doesnt care about it and doesnt care about getting the toys at the store. I think this has more to do with his autistic nature then with anything else, but I guess time will tell.

My favorite part of all of this is when Landon has showed me his loving brother side when it comes to his money. Yesterday we were at the store and he had $5 left over from his money that he had made to use on our latest trip to Disneyland. He pays 10% in tithing (for church) and 10% goes to his mission fund, we are also working on him putting 10% into a savings account but he is not on board with that, so after that he had $4 left. He used that $4 to buy each of his brothers a box of cookies and then with his $2 left he search the store for some toy to buy (he of course found nothing). When he realized $2 was not enough he found a toy he wanted to save his money for and we worked out a money saving plan. As we are leaving he threw a fit because he wanted to go to the Dollar Store to buy a toy, we brought up his money saving plan and he decided to buy a chocolate bar instead with the change he had in his wallet and save his $2 for the Batman Jetpack toy.

We have tried a million different ways to help him learn about earning and saving and this has worked best for us. What works best for you?