Forever Young

I love this song! It fills my heart with so much happiness.

When I think of my children and their futures I want these things for them.

The words are so true and so powerful.

I posted the video at the bottom of the page if you would like to hear the music and be swept away by its beauty. My kids are growing up so fast and this song just makes me happy and sad all at the same time.
(this song makes me cry, so if you are a crying momma like me, then be prepared.) 

Forever Young
(R. Stewart /J. Cregan / K. Savigar) 

May the good lord be with you 
Down every road you roam 
And may sunshine and happiness 
Surround you when you're far from home 
And may you grow to be proud 
Dignified and true 
And do unto others 
As you'd have done to you 
Be courageous and be brave 
And in my heart you'll always stay 
Forever young, forever young 
Forever young, forever young 
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/r/rod+stewart/forever+young_20117403.html ] 
May good fortune be with you 
May your guiding light be strong 
Build a stairway to heaven 
With a prince or a vagabond 

And may you never love in vain 
And in my heart you'll always remain 
Forever young, forever young 
Forever young, forever young 
Forever young 
Forever young 

And when you finally fly away 
I'll be hoping that I served you well 
For all the wisdom of a lifetime 
No one can ever tell 

But whatever road you choose 
I'm right behind you, win or lose 
Forever young, forever young 
Forever young, forever young 
Forever young, forever young 
For, forever young, forever young

Inspiration

Today I cried.

I cried a lot. 

I cried and I laughed!

I reflected and I pondered on a lot of things

These two quotes kept running through my mind all day:

Hopefully you will find inspiration in them too.

I don't think anymore needs to be said then what these two things say.

Remember them.

Put them somewhere you can see them.

And when time is hard think on these things.

How was your day?

What happens when a 2 year old and an 8 month old are left to do their own thing, while mom and dad unload a moving truck?

I was in the back bedroom getting stuff moved around so we had more room in there to bring the rest of the bedroom stuff in off of the truck. I heard Aowyn fuss and then she got quiet again really fast so I finished up what I was working on and went out to see her. I had been in the bedroom maybe 5-7 minutes.

As soon as I walk into the living room I see my beautiful babies having the time of their life, eating "ice keem." (he thought it was ice cream, but it was sour cream)

I threw my hands to my mouth and started laughing so hard I could hardly breath. They were both super smiley and Tayton just kept saying "sissy ice keem," over and over again. 

I of course did what any good mom would do and ran to get the camera to capture the moment on film.

There was sour cream EVERYWHERE. In eye lashes and ears and nostrils and toes. There was a trail of it leading from the fridge into the living room. (I found the lid in front of the fridge.)

They apparently loved it and just kept eating and cried when I took it away. Got to love kids! Aowyn sneezed out and spit up sour cream for 2 days, but I still think she thought it was worth it.

A friend of mine always says,

"Don't get mad, take a picture." 

So that's what I did, took a picture. Life is too short to get so mad about things that really are funny. I find myself trying not to laugh and to be serious when my kids are being crazy and doing naughty things.

Of course there are times I am the opposite and lose my cool. 

And times when I am having a bad day and instead of taking a picture I get mad.

There are times when I don't laugh and instead I end up saying a silent prayer in my head over and over that I won't completely lose it when one of my kids does something particularly bad.

I am learning every day to be a good mom. 

I am learning that some days life is full of hilariously naughty things. 

I only have these babies for so long and I would rather be laughing and taking pictures then mad and frustrated.

How was your day today?

My daughter

 I always wanted boys, lots of boys. When my husband and I got married I said I wanted around 5 or 6 boys and MAYBE (and that was a very big maybe) a girl.

My mom and I did not have a good relationship when I was a kid, in fact it was pretty bad. I often dreamed of the day when I was out of the house and on my own and away from her. My sister and I are not very close either. I was afraid for the longest time that if I had a daughter it would just be a bad relationship because all of the women relationships I had in my family were not good. I never had good examples of good strong female relationships. 

After our first two boys were born I wondered if I may like having a girl. I watched friends girls and loved it but was still on the fence about whether or not I wanted a girl. I always had this sinking feeling in my stomach when I thought about having a daughter. When I was pregnant with our third I thought about how I wanted a girl, but still couldn't shake that feeling of dread that was attached to the word daughter, so when we found out it was a boy I was a bit sad and a lot relieved. (handsome hubby was crushed, he really, really wanted a girl).

By the time baby #4 was on the way I WANTED a girl. I ached for a girl. Some where along the way the sinking feeling about not wanting a girl turned into a sinking feeling that I might NEVER have a girl. Every time I saw a little girl I wanted one. At first I didn't know if it was because I LOVED the clothes, the shoes, the toys, the hair stuff, or if it was because I really wanted a daughter. I soon realized that I always loved the girl stuff so it wasn't that, but it was the fact that I wanted a daughter. When ever I saw a little girl I would get teary eyed. My heart would catch in my throat and I was so overcome with emotion and longing that I would get sad because I wanted a girl and I didn't think I would ever have one. When I walked by the little girl toy isle in the store I would cry, YES cry, real tears, because I felt like I was missing out on sharing my childhood with a little girl. I wanted a little me. I watched my husband share ninja turtles, scooby doo, sports, pirates, movies, and toys from his childhood with our boys and I so desperately wanted to share my childhood loves with someone.

I was still terrified, because of the lack of female relationships I had in my family but I was also in desperate want of a baby girl. 

I set up the appointment to find out the gender of the baby for as early as I possibly could. I remember sitting in the office at exactly 14 weeks holding my husband hand and trying so hard to not get my hopes up. My mind drifted into a world of pink. I dreamed of cuddling my daughter and kissing her head. I tried to shake the dreams because if this was a boy I didn't want to not feel like I didn't love him or want him as much. It was hard to think that way, because to me this was my daughter.

This was our surprise baby. The baby was due in the winter, around Christmas (something I swore I would never do. Guess I went back on a lot of things I always thought I wanted.) All my boys were summer babies (I've always thought spring would be fun.) I was in denial about the pregnancy from the get go. I had INSANE migraines and went to the doctor about them.  I would be laying on the couch in major pain and then if I got up I thought I was going to throw up. I told the doctor everything and they ran some tests. I thought maybe I had a really, really bad case of the flu. When the doctor called to tell me that I didn't have the flu and that I was in fact pregnant I did not believe her. Every thing about this baby was different, so maybe this WAS my girl.

As I sat there holding my husbands hand  I couldn't help but get caught up in the want to have a little girl. When we went into the room and watched the baby on the monitor I was looking for something, anything that would show me if it was a boy or girl. I thought I saw some boy parts and looking at my husband sitting next to me to see if he saw anything (he didn't). I held his hand so tight and when the tech told me that she was 99% sure it was a girl, I squeezed his hand even harder and the tears started flowing, from both of us. It was a girl, a real girl. It was MY daughter, the one I never knew I wanted and the one I never knew I needed.

I started shopping immediately. I would walk down the toy isle at the store and get teary eyed, this time because of all I had ahead of me. I was still not sure myself that it was a girl, in fact it took 3 more ultrasounds for me to finally see the "3 lines" they tell you to look for on an ultrasound and then I believed it was a girl. I was still in some denial even up until she was born and the first thing I said was "Is it really a girl?"

The Christmas before she was born my oldest asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I told him that I wanted a baby girl. He got me a baby Aurora doll for Christmas. When we came home for the ultrasound and told them we were having a baby girl they were all excited. They really wanted a sister and they even told me if it was a boy that we were sending him back. When she was born and Landon met her for the first time he said, " Mom last year you wanted a baby girl for Christmas and this year Heavenly Father and Santa brought you one."

I now have this amazing daughter, the one I never knew I wanted and now realize how much I needed. I never knew how amazing it would be to have her. I am overcome with so much love for her. I never knew I could feel this way. I love my boys, but my love for Aowyn is so much different. I love her for all she is and all she will some day be. I love the relationship we have already. I look at here and am so overwhelmed with how much she has changed me and our family dynamic. I love watching her brothers play with her. I love that she is our princess and I love that she is just downright amazing. She is by far the best baby we have ever had. She is so happy and so sweet. She rarely cries and is so full of personality. And she totally looks like a mini me. 

When I was pregnant I had lots of anxiety attacks about whether I was going to be a good mom to a daughter. Since I had such bad mother/daughter experiences I wasn't sure if I knew what good ones could be like. I remember crying on the phone to my mother in law and telling her my fears. She told me that Aowyn was saved for me and that she and I would be great friends. She told me that I would be a great mom to a daughter because I was nothing like my mother and because I was so passionate about being a good mom. There was no way I was going to fail this daughter that was going to be mine. 

I want to be an amazing mom to her. I want to be the mom to her that I never had. I want to teach her to be a woman. I want to teach her to be a wonderful mom someday. I want to teach her about her heritage as a daughter of a King. I want to teach her to serve and to love others. I want to teach her about the beauty of the world around her and teach her about how to find her prince charming someday and be married to him in the temple. I want to teach her patience and compassion. I want her to see the best in others and to be a positive influence on the people around her. 

I know that I have a huge task ahead of me. I know that raising a future mother is much different then raising future fathers. I know that both are very important jobs. I have the most sacred and a huge calling of all. I am a mother to three wonderful sons of a heavenly king and a truly amazing daughter of a king.

The lord knew that I needed Aowyn and that she needed me and he knew that one day I would figure it out and I am grateful for his timing and knowledge of who I am. He waited to send me one of his beautiful daughters until he knew my heart was ready for her. I am very ready to be the mother to her that she needs me to be. I love her very much and I love being her mother.

I am also grateful that I have a husband who is head over heels in love with his daughter too and that he knows how to treat me, her mother, so that she sees what a good example of a husband should be. He is a great example to her about what a good man should be. I have never seen him look more amazing then when he is with her. It is so attractive to see him bend over backwards for her and treat her with such love. She has him wrapped around her finger, (in a good way) and he loves her so much. He has changed so much since we had her and I love watching him with her. 

Aowyn has changed our family so much. I am grateful for the plan that my father has for me, even if I don't think it something I ever want, he knows who I really am and knows what I truly need.

My greatest blessings....

My greatest blessings call me mom. 

Motherhood is not easy. 

Some days I feel like I am losing my mind 

and other days I wonder if I did anything right that day. 

Some days I wonder if they heard a word I said 

and other days I remember I need to be careful what I say because they repeat everything.

 Some days I wonder if I am a good mom

and other days I KNOW I am.

Some days we have screaming, tears and lots of naughtiness

and other days we have lots of laughter and obedience.

Some days I wonder if I did anything that day that I wanted too

and other days I feel like my kids and I conquered the world.

Some days my kids look like a hot mess

and other days the are all put together and clean.

Some days I feel like there is not enough of me to go around

and other days I devote my time equally to everything that needs to get done.

Some days I am exhausted and running on fumes

and other days I have energy for days.

Everyday is always different. But no matter what the the day is like one thing always remains the same:

I ALWAYS know what I am doing it for and my days are always BLESSED and FULL of love.

In case you did not know......

.................this is a baby dinosaur. According to Landon!!! We go looking for them in our backyard, on a baby dinosaur hunt and when we see one we have to catch it and set it free on the other side of the fence or back outside if we find it in the garage. And then we have to run and hide. :O) Silly little boy!!!

My biggest fear.....well sort of!

I went into Landons room to get him up from his nap (you know the one they dont actually take that day, they just play in their bed for 2 1/2 hours), I usually go in and tell him to lay down and eventually he will fall asleep, but not this time. I walk in and immediately he says "I pee pee." My eyes are drawn to his shorts across the room on the floor, the package of wipes on the floor by his bed, his diaper (that is of course no longer on him) on he floor with several used wipes laying right next to it....... "WHAT????" He stands up, totally pantless and shows me the big huge wet spot of pee right in the middle of his bed. I tried so hard not to laugh, why was this so funny? Probably because I have been expecting this day for a long long time. Since he is basically potty trained now and only sleeps with his diapers on I figured the day would come when he had enough of that too...... all I can say is I am glad it was not poo, and at least he is smart enough to wipe himself!

Now on the poo note..... Landon is finally putting that in the potty too. He tells us about 5 times and sits there about 5 times over the spane of 15 minutes before he finally goes, but at least its in the potty. No more yucky underwear to clean..... that always seems to happen while daddy is at work and I am feeding Braddoc...... ahhhhhh!!! Heres to that being over till Braddocs ready....

Silly, Dirty Boy

We had a funny experience happen yesterday that I thought I would share. Noah went to get Landon up yesterday morning and changed his diaper and thought it would be funny to let Landon run naked into our bedroom where I was finishing up my morning reading, needless to say I put my book down to grab the little naked man but as soon as I did he ran to the foot of the bed, squated and I could tell right away that he was trying to poop, Noah and I both realized it at the same time and ran for Landon Noah got there first and picked him up and ran him to the bathroom and set him on the toliet, it really scared Landon though and he cried on the toliet till I came and he huged me and then he was fine but however all the pooping had been accomplished on the floor in our bed room and in the newly carpeted hallway. We had two little piles in our room and thankful the last little pile in the hallway hit right at the opening to the bathroom and barely missed the carpet. We were laughing so hard, because we had just been talking about how so far in his diaperless adventures we had yet to have to clean up any messes, guess we can't say that now. Later that day he added to the adventure by peeing in the hallway right after his shower. He was running down the hallway peeing as he went, guess he is not ready to potty train yet. :O)
On another note he is cutting 5 (yes I said 5) more teeth all at the same time. Not so much fun for the poor guy. He now has ten, four on the bottom front and four in the top front with a molar up top on both sides and he is cutting all four K9 teeth as well as a molar on the bottom. Just thought we would share. Hope you get a kick out of him as much as we do.