Saturday, November 01, 2008
Borrowing my husband!!!
So we found out this week that my husband gets a paid military trip. :O( I am trying to think of it as them "borrowing" my husband instead of him getting d.ed, some how it makes me feel better. :O) I am very overwhelmed with all that we have to get done in the next little while, I dont even know where to start. I know we need to get wills and power of attorneys, as well as get him a laptop to take with him, but I have no idea about wheither or not we need international calling cards, how or where to get web cams, what he needs to take so he can get internet over there..... I dont really know what to do besides the few duh! basics. So if any of you can give me some advice (jamie?) about what all you and your spouses did to prepare for this sot of thing and what you think is important to get done, or what really helped you out. I am just trying to focus on what needs to get done rather then the reason its getting done and the fact that I have no idea what I am going to do with out my best friend, because whenever I think about it I start to cry.... so....... any help advice about what to do to get ready and what he will want to have over there with him will be much appriciated. :O) Thanks!!!
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My brother-in-law has been in Iraq for over a year now. I can get you in touch with his wife if you want. They are able to talk online through Skype almost everyday. Just send me an email with your info and I can have her contact you. it's josh_lambie@yahoo
I can't help with any advice on what you need to do, but if you do need anything please let me know. Even if it's just a babysitter so you can get things done, don't hesitate to call me:)
Aurie we are so grateful for your sacrifice. Just today I was explaining to Carson what men in the army do. What a blessing it is that there are brave men like your husband who protect our freedom. Thank you!
I can not imagine all the your family is sacrificing on behalf of all of us. I hope you know we are here for you if you ever need anything.
I'm so sorry to hear that Noah is leaving! If you need anything at all let me know. I'll send you a myspace email of all the things you will need and all the things that will convenient. And I love your out look: Borrowing! Ha, that is a great way to look at it! I never thought of it that way, but now I will.
Hey girl! I am also very sorry but grateful for the sacrifice you and Noah are making for me and my family! We love you all so much and are always here for you! Please let me know what I can do to help. I know from experience that unfortunately there is NOTHING you can do to prepare yourself or your family emotionally, but I do have some suggestions for you but I'll call ya when I get home from Utah;) Love ya!
OH man....I had a friend/boyfriend that was in Iraq for two years, but it's totally differen't to have your husband gone. If you ever want to take a trip to good 'ol Utah to stay with us we would love it so much. We have a spare bedroom and everything. I am really serious!
I love Skype, it rocks. We have talked with our friends all over the world, even the ones who are not military. Skype rocks. Sorry you have to go through that. All I can think of, is that the most amazing, faithful, strong, independant, empowered, inspiring women I have EVER met, are women who have faced long deployments with their spouses gone, and those women have become absolute rocks for their family, set in faith so strong that nothing can break it. And their children are amazing too. I'm not saying I have not seen major negative effects from deployments, but I have yet to see that outcome from a woman of faith. You have always impressed me with your devotion and love of God. I would think Jamie is the queen of ideas for getting through this kind of thing in the smoothest way possible. (Jade was 2 when Bill was gone for 10 mo, but I lived with my family, so it was different. and all the other short deployments 2 wks - 4 mo. were nothing compared to what Jamie has dealt with, she would know what to do) But also know that you are one incredible woman as is, and your faith see you through it all. Our door is always open too. hang in there!!!
Hey Aurie, I'm sorry to hear that Noah will have to be gone for 8 months. But I too am greatful for the sacrifice that you are both making for our family and country! I don't have any experience on getting ready for that sort of thing but I know a few things that are important. As far as webcams go, I don't think you will find a laptop that doesn't have one thesedays. For our desktop we got a logitech that I really like. I tried a microsoft one that didn't work out realy well. As far as wills go you need a regular will(for your stuff and the care of your kids) and a living will (advanced directives incase you become brain dead.) Also, make sure you have your benefeciaries of all life insurance policies lined up correctly. These things are important to have no matter what your situation in life! You probably know most of it but that's ok. Also, check out living trusts. They are pretty cool and can be beneficial depending on your situation. A program I really like is Quicken Will Maker. I hope this helps. Good luck getting ready! Our prayers will be with you and Noah, especially while you are apart.
Oh Aurie. My heart broke when I read your post. Getting prepared is, I think, one of the hardest parts; the anxiety of the unknown. But don't worry, the military will take good care of him. (Easier said than done, right.) Noah will have a checklist of everything he needs to have done before deployment, including wills, power of attorney, etc. You want to help, but most of the time there's not really much you can do. You'll constantly feel like you have to have everything done before he goes, but we realized we still had time to do stuff after he left. The wills and stuff that HAVE to be done beforehand are on the checklist so you'll be set. Definitely look into Skype. I think Glen used that for all of the calling from his work computer to my computer. He got a laptop, but used his work computer most of the time for calling. His laptop was mostly used for watching movies or listening to music. The entire time he was there, they were constantly trying to get the internet hooked up in their rooms. You just never know what he'll get until he gets out there. Glen felt a laptop wasn't something he wanted mailed to him so that's why he got it beforehand. That and his own camera. Tell Noah to take lots of pictures. And I'm sure you will too. Glen bought a webcam over the internet after he got there to put in his office so know that if Noah sees there's a need for something, he should still be able to get it. Shipping times for items were pretty good. If he can't get it via internet, he should be able to contact you at some time with his list of needed items either by phone or email. Make sure to check out Airman and Family Readiness and get added to their email list and find out anything they have for deployed families. At the time, Ben and Jerry's was making frequent drop-offs and I was able to go in for free ice cream anytime I wanted. It wasn't always stocked, just stop in and ask for it. Knowing that he's getting deployed, you can start getting it now (if they still do it.) Glen even picked some up for me a time or two.=) Loved that comfort food. Their email list has a weekly email to keep you updated on activities they do. I didn't go to too many, but they have a lot available and the Thanksgiving dinner we went to, it was so organized with so many volunteers to come and help. Especially with your two little ones, they'll reach out and help you in any way they can.
I'm just so thankful you are where you are with a GREAT support system. Make sure to surround yourself. Take breaks and leave your kids with someone else OFTEN. Even if you think you're doing o.k., it's best to get those breaks before you can't stand it anymore and have a meltdown. Write down who you're going to call when those breakdowns happen. Have a plan because during those emotional states, that brain just forgets EVERYTHING. And I hope your visiting teacher/companion will be as great as mine was and randomly stop by just to fold the massive pile of laundry and just let you cry. (Did I ever tell you how much that meant to me. I still share that story.--You're the best.) Take it all one day at a time. Avoid watching the news or the CNN bottom newsline. Any little thing you hear happening over there your fear is that it's happening to you and your Noah. If the worst happens, you'll deal with it then. It's just like listening to someone's childbirth horror stories. I can't listen to those when I'm pregnant or I fear the worst. Avoid listening to country music. Every patriotic song out there WILL bring on the uncontrollable sobs, although sometimes it was good to get that sobbing out of the way over a silly little song. I recommend you both get a priesthood blessing. Bishop Lewis was on top of that and made sure to get out and give us one a few weeks before Glen left. That helped tremendously. Write that down in your plan. When you're struggling, know who you'll call for a priesthood blessing. And pray and stay close to the scriptures. Time will at times feel like it's flying and other times it's standing still. Take it all one day at a time. You're already an amazing woman Aurie and you'll be even stronger because of this experience. You'll both be in our prayers. Love you.
My husband just finished a 5 month tour in Balad. To prepare we just did the bascis... wills, power of attorney, making sure I could access all his accounts. In Balad he should be able to make abou 2 free 15 min calls/week. He can also get a spaware account which is basically a calling card. He can call as often or as much as he is able to this way.
Just take it day by day. The first month is tough. By the second or third I got a rhythm going and felt very self sufficient. When the end arrives it is indescribable.
Good luck and God bless.
Honestly you and your husband are in the military and did you really think that he would never leave? You are lucky he hasn't already gone. You shouldn't be giving info like when he is going, where he is going, how long he will be gone on the internet. You have no idea who is checking your blog for information. Yes deployments are hard, but it's not the end of the world.
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